Book review ; daughters who walk this path (yejide kilanko)

*No one told us that sometimes evil is found much closer to home, and that those who want to harm us can have the most soothing and familiar voices*

*My legs were thrown apart. I felt a sharp pain as bros T pushed into my unwelcoming body, my spirit floated high up to the ceiling…….i felt pain, deep pain inside me.*

Morayo’s pain was so relatable, so real, so well described. This was a girl who was raped before she even knew what it meant, way before her first period, she had sex, got pregnant, and aborted without knowing what it actually meant. Bros T was evil! she had to not only bear the pain of it all but the uncomfortable silence that filled the home thereafter and a strained relationship with her mother.

This book broke my heart and it made me cry because it is the reality of many girls around the world with no one to shield them from the wickedness.

Aunty Morenikeji’s was a sad one also, it was an obvious power play and a game of oppression by chief Komolafe. There are many others like the chief walking freely on the street and can do no wrong because they have the support of the masses due to their wealth. How do you rape a fifteen-year-old entrusted in your care and get her pregnant then have the audacity to call her wayward or seductive? I cried reading aunty Morenikeji’s last letter. Where she called the child Opemipo, we should be like Morenikeji choosing to provide support, to advocate, and to be a shoulder for comfort when the pain comes and not like the parents who choose to sweep it under the rug and hide out of shame, living in denial and thinking that time will make things better.

Eniayo was an albino who grew up with a hedge of protection around her, though she was too young to put a meaning to it all, she saw it happen. Like many firsts do, Morayo and her parents tried to protect her from experiencing it all. As for Aunty bose who sent her maid away and told Morayo to leave because she does not want her husband to be tempted or the woman who got slapped when she went to challenge the lady in the hostel and the husband still left with the lady, why do we act like it does not take 2 to tango? Infidelity is not one-sided you know, why do we always have to blame the female, my gender has suffered tbh. 

Let us always know that there are many bros Ts out there and people raised them, as much as children sometimes, turn out opposite the way  they were raised, we should at least put an effort into raising them well. For real, some men are badly raised, I’ve met a number of them, they feel entitled to a woman's body, they don’t care who or how old, once they want you, they go to any length to get you, they are the daddies, the uncles, the teachers, the pastors, the guardians who take advantage of these little ones, they are usually close and as is the case here could be family and it could be difficult to do a legal prosecution.

Although abusers sometimes seek restitution, victims have the right not to want to have anything to do with them anymore, they can forgive but the baggage of pain, from shame, from guilt, sometimes does not leave easily.

I  make my daughter a promise that I intend to keep; I promise that for you, there will be fewer secrets. I promise to talk about whatever causes you pain. To talk about shame. I promise to listen even when I do not understand. I promise because you are worth it.